1 February 2006

When I saw the commentary [on "Murika," 1 February 2006] I had to write. First off, it is one of the funniest in a while. That Mr. Kreider has failed to see this is either a product of Lagavulin-induced malaise or a general loss of funny bone. Second, if Mr. Kreider's affinity for Lagavulin threatens his income as it does mine, and I'm assuming it does, despite the brilliance and universal popularity of his cartoons, I would suggest he track down something called "Islay Mist" which is a blend of Islay scotches, predominantly Laphroig. The point is, it is about $26 here in Missouri and you can put ice on it without feeling like a schmuck.

Jason R.:

Mr. Kreider appreciates your counsel about the whiskeys of Scotland, of which delicacy he is passionate fond.  He will test with this misty mixture about which you speak.

He is in disagreement with your assessment of his work as "universally popular."  I will say to you in confidence that it is simply his choleric way and not so that you take it personally.  He is terrible to accept the complements, although not as very terrible as he is as accepting criticism.

Respect,

C.-H.

1 February 2006

Hey Tim,

I'm a new, but avid reader of your comic living in Toronto, Ontario.  I don't think you're much of a TV watcher, but nevertheless I wanted to recommend an HBO show called The Wire.  It's set in Baltimore (your home town, according to your site), and it depicts (fictionally) the war on drugs through the perspective of both the police and the traffickers.  However, the last season of the show used the drug war as a critical allegory of the war in Iraq, or more specifically the philosophy of the US government in dealing with the conflict.

In any case, keep up the great work.

A Canadian fan, - Pat

Patrick D.,

You are correct that Mr. Kreider does not look at television or even have one, due to the potential for addiction and that he believes it makes him more stupid as well as terrified.  However he recognizes the program that you refer to because his neighbor, the insane pig-affectionate ex-Sailor, is a frequent "extra" on it.  He is intrigued by your description and may look at this last season on DVDs, which he considers an acceptable orderly form of TV.

He expresses additionally his disappointment that your compatriots have voted for a conservative government, which he mentions has not worked so much well for your gargantuesque and deranged neighbor to the south.

Respect to your reasonable and peaceful country,

C.-H.

3 February 2006

[regarding "Murika"]: agreed not really funny but having read for a few months i know that's not always what you're really most going for. this was a really good passionate one, as was your artist's statement.

i do have a couple minor points on the way it's displayed on the website. at least on internet explorer, for me it displays slightly too wide and I have to scroll over. on firefox it's a bit better. but i don't think it should be so, you should be able to code it so that it fits the window?

also, why not have the artist's statement automatically be there below, what is the point of an extra click which reloads the cartoon + statement?

Dej

Daniel E. J.:

I make excuses for the delay of this answer. With the furore surrounding the entry of Mr. Kreider's into the contest of cartoons of the Holocaust of Iran we in some unspecified way or other missed one week of the letters of the readers, and only now lets us be catching up with itself.

With regard to the gibberish of computer, neither Mr. Kreider nor I knows such painful things, but your indecipherable complaints were dispatched to our Master of the Web Dave.  As regards the statements of the artist at least we believe that the problem of "scrolling" was satisfactoriy solved.  However it is sometimes necessary to reproduce the drawings with a big size because the lines of Mr. Kreider' s are so much in a manner obsessing tiny and dense.

As for the statements of the artist being maintained at a distance of one click, this is for the profit of the readers who do not want that their pleasure of the drawings is sullied by the proper interpretation of the artist.

Mr. Kreider transports his appreciation for your message. Still, I regret delay in my answer.

Respect,

C.-H.

4 February 2006

Hey,

I am dropping a completely unnecessary line to y'all about Mr Kreider's question of why in the book of Genesis nobody seems surprised that animals talk.  A reasonable if somewhat fruity interpretation is that the communication with animals signified Adam and Eve's closeness to the rest of the world.  We lost this closeness with our ability to rationalize, thus allowing us the wonder of processed cheese snacks but also the horror of being awake until 4 AM with the clinical depression.  Back when we were animals, we could talk to the other animals.  But we're not any more.

Of course, it's also a goddamn talking snake in a goddamn myth, animals always fucking talk in myths.  Christ.

Keep up the good work!  I still wish I could letter half as well as you do.

J.

Jay C.:

Mr. Kreider accepts the legitimacy of your interpretation concerning the alienation of nature, of treated cheese and the depression, but as we were flooded with theories about the speaking animals of the Bible and grew tired of this matter, and are still irritable when it is raised.

Mr. Kreider accepts with the graciousness your compliments on his alphabet.

Respect,

C.-H.

6 February 2006

Dear Tim,

I was made aware of your work by a Canadian friend and now, checking out the new cartoon is, if not the high point of my week, at least something to look forward to in this vale of tears.

I recently told my girlfriend that 'Babies are Assholes' and she gave me such a look of disgust.

Anyway, I hope you'll soon have something to say on the recent extraordinary goings-on in Europe and the Middle East, sparked by a Danish newspaper cartoon. Surely this hits home for you? It's all getting me down and I could do with a laugh.

Best,

Fraser

Glasgow, Scotland

Fraser S.:

Mr. Kreider tardily advises you not to speak about the defects of the babies to the ladies.  He is tired of the glances of the dislike.

Mr. Kreider is happy to bring short and hollow chucklings to the vale of the tears Scotland.

Respect,

C.-H.

6 February 2006

Ms. Hautpanz,

Please relay to Mr. Krieder that I was wiggled with joy to find a fresh new shocking four panel on thepaincomics.com on a lowly monday and it is a howler to boot.  Mr. Krieder either loosed some creative cogs during his recent hallucinogenic experience or the Magic Kingdom did his body good.  In either event, we here in the woods are glad to count him and his work among that of Our Side.

Additionally, if this Cartoon Massacre that is infecting the global unconsciousness reaches Chesapeake Bay alert Mr. Krieder that Indiana is almost a world away from such folly and he is welcome to take refuge in our backhouse.

Regards,

Yours Truly

Zebulun:

As you know Mr. Kreider is now entirely muddled in the total violent conflicts of the cartoons.  He thanks you for your offer of refuge, but it is not clear with him that a "backhouse" in Indiana would of necessity be preferable to impalement by insane Mohammedans.

Mr. Kreider appreciates your compliments on his work and is happy to have caused your merry Monday agitating.

Respect,

C.-H.

6 February 2006

Loved this week's edition of my favourite weekly internet destination. I have an especially nerdy softspot for your superhero stuff.  "Chuckles" was inspired.  Anyway, on with the hybrids!

A few years ago (in my early university days) I participated in an extremely high-paying sperm motility experiment, the hilarity of which has been a bottomless source of comedy material ever since.  In the document which needed to be signed in order for me to participate (it wasn't called a 'release', but it should have been), there was a clause which stated, "I understand that in the experiment, ova from hamsters will be used to test the motility of human sperm. Further, I understand that no hamster/human hybrid is possible."  I signed off.  Because really, when you're getting 90 bucks a shot every second day for two weeks, who cares where they put it?  I did tuck that little clause away though, just in case there were villainous superpower ramifications later on.

Then when G.W. said that thing in the State of the Union, it took me back. I wondered if maybe he misunderstood the release that he'd signed.

And really, if you're making a hybrid, it's not cloning is it?  If you create and enslave an army of identical hybrids, then it's cloning.

Thanks for the weekly laughs.  I own your books.  Honestly.

MIKE "30% hamster on my mother's side" W.

Mike W.:

Mr. Kreider wishes me to thank you for your compliments, your personal thoughts relating to the inhuman hybrids, and most particularly for buying his books, which he deplores far a too small number have done.  Bitterly and maudlin he curses the ungrateful who attentively read his website and glut themselves on its archives and spend not a dollar in his work.  O he is voluble on this subject.

Further he orders me to convey to you his juvenile speculation that, rather than the superb powers, you are to have half-human, half-hamster children-- "mansters," he calls them.  It is funny with him.

Regret,

C.H.

6 February 2006

Hi,

I would love to hear Tim's thoughts on the whole Danish cartoon debacle. 

Jason, Santa Clara, California

PS Since I can't resist - my favorites: "Don't Mind Grandpa", "The Sorrows of Pluto", "The Grass is Always Greener..." (Meow Meow Meow Meow Meow Asshole), "Operation: Head of State" (best "oh God I'm fucked" frown ever, but what is that in the thought balloon?) and everything else that ridicules/exposes the current administration.  Oh, and "Sic Semper Fuckheads" makes me proud to be an American.  Really.

       Jason,

The thoughts of Mr. Kreider's on the cartoon riots were to be announced in the "artist's statement" this week, which our master of the web Dave did not post yet while he is unfortunately in Houston making sure that Mr. Kreider will one day obtain his ultimate goal, the Moon.  I will tell you that primarily he is 1.)  envious that his own drawings never encouraged such violence but 2.) quivering with excitement that cartoons are causing newsworthy events for the first time in a century. He also wishes that the Moslems would become used to being offended constantly, as he is.

In the balloon of thought is former U.S. President Theodore Roosevelt.  It was pointed out too late to Mr. Kreider that he could have the thought of somebody who was not a president, or a man.

Respect,

C.-H.

9 February 2006

Ms. Hautpanz,

OK, please forward this to Tim, thanks.

Tim,

I haven't laughed so hard at one of your cartoons in ages! The image of Spidey tartly webzapping Cheney (who will no doubt get his good friend Mr Jameson to print a nasty article in the Daily Bugle in retaliation) left me laughing aloud. Then I saw the comments.... though you kind of screwed up the link to the comments, I was at last able to get it and get that lovely line about the Korean Man Bats. You think we can work that into a future cartoon? (Assuming you survive the legions of bugeyed, burnoosed fanatics that will surely gather once you've insulted Islam, of course...)

Well, TTFN,

Marty F.

Marty F.:

Mr. Kreider asked me to give the appreciation for your compliments.  It is appropriate that Mr. Cheney must surely narrowly be attached to J. Jonah Jameson, however not so narrowly as for Lex Luthor. 

He regrets to have failed to include the armada of the Korean Man-Beaters in the apocalyptic drawing of this week.

Respect,

C.-H.

10 February 2006

I just wanted to tell you that you're doing a great work. I read the Why Do They Kill Me? Collection and I really liked it. I live in Greece (by the way, I offer you my apologies on behalf of that moron who stabbed you. i guess assholes are international) and politicians here stink as well. Keep up the good work.

Alex

Alex,

It pleases me very much to know my book is being read and enjoyed in Greece, home of democracy. Rest assured I harbor nothing but fond feelings for Greece and its people and especially its health care system, and I still intend to return there someday. Also, as everyone there was anxious to emphasize, the man who stabbed me was not Greek but Macedonian.

I am aware that your politicians are corrupt and inefficient, but at least they are powerless to screw up much of the world outside of Greece. Our government's been meddling with the rest of the world since the end of WWII--starting with the CIA-sponsored coup in Greece. Sorry about that.

Yia sas,

Tim

13 February 2006

Agreed. Liz Phair is still among the five hottest pieces of ass on the planet.

Marc K.

14 February 2006

Is there an RSS feed for The Pain?

Steven B.:

Neither Mr. Kreider nor myself has any idea what is meant by things such as RSS. Your question should be mentioned to our Master of the Web, Dave.

Respect,
C.-H.

16 February 2006

Tim,

How's about this?

We all know how history records Hitler's death: alone and defeated, he shoots himself in the head.

RIGHT???

Well, wouldn't it be funny if he ACTUALLY died from the shock of receiving the mother of all GAS bills??

Y'know it would kinda perfectly encapsulate a bittersweet irony even The Final Solution has a price etc

Just an idea.

Danny G

Danny G.:

Hitler is always funny (except during the actual Second World War), and your idea is no exception. I like to think of him realizing it just wasn't worth it--maybe saying, "Oy." However, I've already drawn my Holocaust cartoon, as you will see on the website.

Tim

16 February 2006

[RE: "Learn German While Drunk"]:

Hey,

Quite the laugh.  Back in the 80's a friend called me over to listen to a new 12" he'd picked up.  Some chick named Nina.  We fired up a coupla joints and eventually gave it a spin.  About halfway into it we both looked at each other like, we CANNOT be THIS stoned already.  Turned out we were listening to the flipside recorded in German.  99 Luft Ballons still gives me a chuckle when it hits the airwaves.  Saving an otherwise rather pathetic episode of musical history with at least the memory of a mighty-fine buzz.

Anyway, nice work, keep it up.

-Bill K.

Bethesda (but formerly of Ednor Gardens)

Bill K. formerly of Ednor Gardens:

Mr. Kreider appreciates your complement on an older cartoon of his.  He reports the fact that 99 Luftballoons was a favourite of his juvenile self and does not wish you to malign the Nina.  In particular he liked how the name of the "Captain Kirk" leapt out from the German.

Respect,

C.-H.

16 February 2006

[RE: "I am entering. And I intend to win."]:

This may be among the best ideas you've ever had. 

I say that, of course, as the guy who's not going to be attracting the attention of the Anti-Defamation League and the State Department.  A Tim Kreider Holocaust cartoon sounds like the sort of thing that could rapidly get uglier than Waminals.  (Are you really getting sued over that?  That seems crazy to me.)  On the other hand, maybe it's time to reach out to new markets?  At any rate, I'll be watching with interest.

You might be interested in knowing (if you don't already) that some Israelis have responded with their *own* anti-Semitic cartoon contest. http://www.boomka.org/ has, in true Israeli spirit, vowed not to allow the feelthy Iranians to beat them on their own turf.

The interested readers can see this week the Holocaust cartoon of Mr. Kreider' s, which he submitted both to the cruel Iranians and self-loathing Jews. He is carefree with the insult of the humorless. Alas he fears the wild and pitiless humor of the Jews and has little hope of victory on their territory.

For emotional reasons rather than legal he refuses to discuss the fiasco of the W______s.

Respect,

C.-H.

16 February 22006

Dear Ms Hautpanz,

I was so pleased to encounter someone so like-minded as "The Pain" artist. As an artist, it's been cracking me up to read about the "Cartoon Riots". Who could have imagined such nobility and influence bestowed upon our humble art-form?

I like your blatant Mohammedan-baiting.  I went for a subtler, more dignified approach.  Please find my ill-conceived and poorly executed attachment.  In the name of cultural sensitivity, I tried to approach the sacred subject with reverence.   Seeing as this could be reprinted all over the world, I did my very best work.  I hope you like it.

Call me,

Courageously Anonymous

[drawing attached, titled, "The Prophet Takes a Crap."]

Courageously Anonymous:

Mr. Kreider thanks you for your drawing, which he regrets he does not reproduce in fear of revenge from the homicidal excessively pious person.  He informs you that he has in the past drawn a similar cartoon of the model Ms. Claudia Schiffer, who is sacred only to the worshippers of Onan.

Respect,

C.-H.

17 February 2006

Having just moved to Baltimore and discovered your cartoon, I wanted to take a moment and thank you for bringing a weekly smile to my face.

Nita G.

Nita G.:

Mr. Kreider is gratified to cause your weekly smile.  He also urges you to take oysters and sushi and the 32-ounce beers at the market of Cross Street, which he ensures will raise your weekly quotient at least 100% of smiling.

Respect,

C.-H.

22 February 2006

Well Mr. Kreider I've loved reading your comic from the day I found it in computer presn [sic], damn people kept thinking I was insane laughing in the middle of class. These last 2 or 3 if you count the valentines day thing were brilliant. Your view on religion always has me dancing as you insult the ignorant faithful okay some of them are not that bad but if they tell me their religion they are. I'm wasting my time here but the devils game show is awesome. If you actually see this I have 1 request, 1 send me a free book of the pain or post more comics online, I would like to say I am not a anti christ crazy person...ok?....................muhahhahaahahaaaa

    for the fries

P.S. hell what was so damn bad about Regan seems like a normal upstanding politician.

Mr. Kreider thanks you for your compliments on his recent work.  However, he explains why he cannot send the free book to you because: 1.)  they are not for him to give away, they belong to his publisher, and also 2.)  if he gives them away it demolishes the goal to sell them.  It is the goal of the cartoonist as of all the people to make a life.  It is a delicate subject with him and I will not repeat all that he says about it.  Concerning your question about former President Regan he reacts only with the weariness and the dislike and refers you to the artist's statement of 6/9/04.

Although you do not to seem to be the antichrist you do seem a small bit batty.  What is the significance of the fries, please?

Respect,

C.-H.

22 February 2006

Just wanted to say I think Mr. Kreider's (your?) art is hilarious and brilliant!! The finest I have ever seen!! I totally stumbled upon it by accident. I am a big fan of Ivan Brunetti, Johnny Ryan, Kieron Dwyer, Jim Woodring (others as well) but I think you surpass them. I go back to your work again and again. It is so sharp and intelligent and so dead-on. Just the best I have seen. I love your art and I love your politics.   Keep on drawing and I will keep on buying! Any chance of t-shirts or posters?

All the best,

Tristan

Tristan B.:

Mr. Kreider sincerely thanks you for your pleasant words about his work.  To be compared favorably with the likes of Brunetti and Woodring is the high praise indeed. He wishes only that your evaluation were more widely shared.  But he is a bitter man and I fear that no quantity of praise is ever sufficient to alleviate his resentment at the world, thus do not feel intimidated.

Many readers have inquired concerning posters and shirts of T.  The laziness and the inertia of Mr. Kreider should not be underestimated but I will still suggest this to him once more.

Respect,

C.-H.

22 February 2006

I agree with Boyd - you (Tim) pussied out.

Perhaps Boyd and I "believe that nothing is off-limits to question, opposition, or ridicule."  I do not believe you do.

Please, please, please try again.  I have faith that you can do better!

~G

G. B.,

Mr. Kreider thanks you for the writing but wishes me to inform you that he is indifferent to your opinions.

Respect,

C.-H.

22 February 2006

Tim,

Greatly enjoyed the Holocaust cartoon. Yes, I thought you trod the "fine line" rather well. Especially liked the touch of having the "1,000,000 dead in Negrobia" story on the back page of the newspaper, utterly ignored.

 Finally: there's a great story in this month's Vanity Fair (The Oscars issue) which engrossingly studies The Shitkicker-In-Chief's military fantasies, which, of course, best exemplified themselves in the now-utterly cringe-making 'Mission Accomplished' appearance on that warship in 2003 shortly before the first troop deaths. Do you know there's even high-quality action figures of the motherfucker, posing 'heroically' in his flight suit??? Jesus, it beggars belief much like the day's news that the Bush administration sanctioned the sale of your largest ports operations to an ARAB company. Unbelievable. Now, obviously, it's wrong to paint a whole race with the rapacious crimes of a minority, but, come on, after five years of wide-eyed Bushie fear-mongering about the obvious, omnipresent terrorist intentions of Islamic nations, to then give an Arab company control of an industrial area that could quite, quite conceivably be subverted to allow a terrorist threat hidden entry to American soil and it's insane to think otherwise is an utterly damning reminder that, when it comes down it, the Bush administration is all about the money. Shocking.

As Ever,

 DMG

Danny:

The Arab port deal is a truly strange story. Everybody has very strident opinions about it but nobody seems to have any idea what's actually happened, or what it might mean. Whether there's anything amiss or not, it just doesn't look good to middle America, the President handing control of our ports over to a bunch of A-rabs. The weirdest thing about it is that this, for unknown reasons, is the first-ever issue on which President Bush has chosen to take an intransigent stand against his own party. I have no idea whether, as some suggest, there's some back-room deal between the Bush family and some sinister Arab cabal, or whether the President's just incapable of admitting error, and, like Hitler, insists on pressing suicidally forward when defeat is inevitable. It reminds me of his pigheaded insistence that Harriet Miers would indeed be confirmed as a Supreme Court justice. The guy just hates not getting his own way. I have no idea what the truth of this story is, which I really haven't followed closely at all except to delight in Bush's humiliation.

Cheers,

Tim

23 February 2006

When I heard about the Iranian contest, I hoped you would enter. Great job. Now if someone can just talk Drew Friedman into taking a crack at the Israeli one.

FWIW, I first ran into the thinking-about-the-holocaust-to-prevent-ejacualation bit in a porn comic that Howard Chaykin wrote in the 80s. It'd be interesting to see how far back it goes. Paul Krassner maybe? These mysteries are lost to the sands of time and bad, bad taste.

Best regards,

Steve L.

Steve L.:

Thanks from Mr. Kreider to you for your compliments. Mr. Kreider is crushed to learn that his technique of prolongation of arousal via the Holocaust was preempted by others.  He really heard of it himself from his friend Ben, a repulsive person.  It was also employed on the radio show Loveline, to which Mr. Kreider was unfortunately addicted.  But this is the way of the comedy.

Respect,
C.-H.

23 February 2006

I had come across your cartoon on the Holocaust, and I must say that it was a well-done statement. I had read your statement about the cartoon, which was well said and well pointed out, except for a few things.

Before I state any what's wrong with your statement, I would like to say what's right (well what's right in my opinion). First, the idea of "never again!" being associated with only that tragedy should not strike the industrialized (or as you put it, white) societies, is very true, the examples are numerous from the situation of Rwanda to Cambodia (and etc...). Also it is true with the statement that there are moments in which the Arab media singles out Jews for the actions of Zionist (which is entirely unfair, it is like equating Muslims to the actions of the idiots of Al Qaeda).

Nonetheless, here is where I disagree with you, first of all the people of Iran are not ARABS, they are Iranian, they are Persian, to blame Arabs for the actions of an Iranian newspaper is like blaming the French for the actions of Hungary.

Finally, we Arabs have an excellent sense of humour, which I may say, is not entirely noticed by the Americans, we do make fun of our religion, we do make fun of our situation, in fact if you read up more about our society and our culture, we are a vibrant race, cultured and extraordinarily funny in many cases...the issue of the Danish cartoons, is not entirely on the depiction of the prophet (which although is an issue, is not what caused outrage) it is how the Prophet was depicted (come on, a bomb for a turban, or evil eyes, are not looking for a laugh), and it is the excuse of freedom of speech to justify the depiction, especially when the West (and i mean both Europe and America ) are not completely true to the issue of freedom of speech. Look at the case of the continual attacks and censorship of Al-Jazeera because its a "medium for terrorists", or the censorship of anti-war personal for being anti-American, and etc etc etc.

See the point here is that every society has freedom of speech but it is relative to the limitations associated by the society itself. One can not generalize and say a group of people lack the vaules of liberity, or the understanding of freedom of speech, it all relates to the context of the current situation and obstacles faced by the society at the time. Saying Islam, as a unit is against freedom of speech is silly, the historical example of the Muslim empire in India during the European dark ages (the time of the Inquisition, and witch burning) was a model of freedom of speech in which the court had members of all religions (including atheists) debating the existence of God...

anyways, just thought of adding my two cents,

hope you win the contest

take care

Yazan Al-S.

Yazan Al-S.,

Thank you for your thoughtful response to my artist's statement, and for taking a tone more moderate than my own. Your points are well taken. I am not sure whether my webmaster has updated the site yet, but I did forward him a revised version of my letter to Hamshahri in which I replaced the phrase "Arab bigotry" with "your bigotry," since the former made too broad and unfair an accusation and the latter is meant to refer specifically to the newspaper. Also, as you point out, the Iranians consider themselves Persians, not Arabs, which gets into a whole issue of ethnic distinctions about which I admittedly know nothing.

However, you're right that my line about the Arabic sense of humor was written out of ignorance. Of course broad, unfair generalizations are one's stock in trade as a humorist, but in this instance I was indeed subscribing thoughtlessly to a stereotype that's all too pervasive in the U.S, and for this I sincerely apologize. (Although, in my defense, I will point out that that sentence is carefully worded so as to refer to perception rather than reality: "Arabs do not have a reputation for hilariousness.") I know that the media only ever shows us angry chanting fanatics as though they were representative of the whole of Islam, just as the only Christians you ever hear about are ignorant bigoted dingbats. I also know that Islamic civilization was the one keeping it together throughout the Middle Ages when Europe had effectively dropped the ball. I appreciate your calling me on my blanket dismissal of a whole culture and will bear in mind that there are humorless dogmatists in all cultures, as well as funny and thoughtful people. I regret that the former so often drown out the latter. I consider all funny and thoughtful people, regardless of their race, religion, or nationality, to be my allies in the war against seriousness and stupidity, and I am grateful to have you as one.

Sincerely,

Tim Kreider

P.S. Your point about Western hypocrisy concerning free expression is also astute. Hamshahri's citing the prosecution of Holocaust deniers is a bad example of this, but your citing the harassment of al Jazeera is a good one. I did take on a somewhat jingoistic tone, it's true. I am proud of the American comedic tradition of which I am a small and marginal part, but I guess I ought to have spoken on behalf of the humorous against the humorless.

P.P.S. I also agree that the cartoons about Mohammed were not funny, except for the one with the suicide bombers arriving in heaven and being told they were out of virgins. Come on. That's pretty good.

24 February 2006

Hello Mr. Tim Kreider,

Thank you very much for your quick reply. Your emails were extremely wonderful.

I must note though just so you know, I didn't mean to be aggressive in any manner (if in any subtle way).

The ultimate reason why I was moved to write to you is that I do enjoy your work, and when I read your comments about your drawing it came across as a well rounded, thoughtful, and (what is lacking in the world these days) intelligent outlook on such a situation. The mistakes I pointed out, are mistakes I have seen in a multitude of areas (whether in the media, discussion forums, university classes, and etc).

As an Arab, and worse still, as a young male muslim (i only point out my religious beliefs, in order to paint a clearer picture of my perspective) Syrian (you know, the sidekicks of the Axis of Evil), life is hard at the moment. For me, with my strong passion for history and politics, I only seek to ensure that people understand who my people are, which I'm sure you're not surprised to know, are people like anyone else whether they be Americans, Icelandians, Cubans, etc.

I was moved to point out what you said were wrong because I felt like your message was well said, and should be said more often in public, yet its witty sharpness was blunted by these mistakes...that is of course my opinion.

In reply to your email, I believe that the war in seriousness and stupidity will only be solved through the use of dialogue. Your reply and our "conversation" affirms my belief and I thank you for it. To quote one of my favorite writers, Alan Moore, "War is but the lack of imagination" ...ok sure that was not the identical quote but you get the meaning.

Anyways, excuse my silly ramblings, I do wish you well, and hopefully in some future we can all embrace each other as (what i think we should) family. Just so you know, if ever you decide to come down to my neighbourhood, you are always welcome.

Yours Truly,

Yazan Al-S.

 

February 24, 2006

Tim...

Concerning the Holocaust cartoon:  Fucking brilliant, man.  Great stuff.

Keef

Keith Knight, Jr.,

Thanks very much for your kind words. It always means a lot to hear praise from a colleague.

Strange days for cartoonists, eh? Exhilarating, in a way, but also dreadful--all this over silly pictures? I only hope nobody gets killed over my cartoon--or, if they do, that it is not me.

Tim

25 February 2006

Ms. Hautpanz,

Please pass on to Mr. Kreider my hearitest congratulations for the fine work he's been doing.  Also, since it appears that we simultaneously entered the Iranian Holocaust Cartoon Contest with similar entries, and a virtually identical final shot, I'd like to wish him my sporting best wishes.  Unlike the vast timid majority of our profession, at least the two of us know when to take up a challenge.

Sincerely,

Ken Fisher, intern for Ruben Bolling, "Tom the Dancing Bug"

Mr. Fisher,

Mr. Kreider exchanges the congratulations of his colleague Mr. Bolling, of whose work he is un envieux admirateur a long time and whom he warmly remembers to meet at S.P.X. a few years ago.  He is in the cordial agreement with you that the remainder of your colleagues are a "group of cats" (?) and is happy to have worthy competition in accepting this challenge.*  He points out to you the famous quotation of Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, the journalist of gonzo:  "When to go becomes strange, the strange become professionals."  He would wish that the better man should triumph but does not wish to compromise his chances.

In confidence I will say to you that it is difficult to be the intern of a profession so temperamental and lascivious.  Perhaps it is different for you.

Respect,

C.-H.

*Ruben: this isn't the first time we've duplicated gags. The most recent example I can think of was a month or two ago when we both drew panels about the domestic spying program in which NSA agents were eavesdropping and commenting on banal conversations about hot celebrities--I even mentioned Mary Louise-Parker in my accompanying commentary (what a hottie). It's increasingly hard to be a humorist these days, not only because reality has become so hard to parody but because my colleagues are so quick on the draw. -T.K.