2 December 2006
Having read through your archives and seeing that parents were offended by the "Babies are Assholes" cartoon, I thought I'd put in my two cents and say: they are, more than the childless realize. (I should know, I've got two.) Also, "Gentlemen, I have shat myself" is now a family cliche. Thank you!
Finally, if you ever need an extra monster, check out The Incredible Melting Man. It's one of the dumbest movies I've ever seen, but the titular Melting Man would be pretty cool to draw.
3 December 2006
Hi Ms P
I'm assuming that Tim was just tired of writing his rather glorious artist's note this week rather than that he hasn't thought of extending the repression mechanism analogy to the WOT.
Why (compared, say, to Europeans-- despite the Madrid atrocities, I don't see that Spain's foreign policy and national life are dominated by an obsession with this enemy) do Americans get so angry with the so-called "Al Qaeda" terrorists? Yes, they're murderers, definitely to be abhorred and condemned, but why the heightened emotion? Maybe for a people that is supposed to be god-fearing, the experience of people who actually do appear to be devout (enough to commit mass murder for their beliefs) is alarming; maybe for a nation in which a significant proportion of the populace is rich enough actually to experience the emptiness of consumerism and in which the inequalities of capitalism are at their most pronounced, an attack on the "World Trade Center" is an impulse that might seem a little too close to something that might be in our murderous dreams and that therefore must be repressed? And maybe a president who so does NOT resemble any authority figure we've ever come across in real life (except maybe the redneck cop we know is corrupt as hell) is the perfect person to encourage us to let those anxieties build up into a call for revenge?
I'd go even further and say that the problem of the war and the reason support ebbed so quickly is that day to day contact via TV news etc with "real" religious fanaticism is pretty wearing, cognitive dissonance-wise, for the soi-disant religious person. So enough "Christians" (smothered snicker), conveniently given a break by the Republican scandals from the normal social peer pressure not to vote for those limp-wristed Democrats, could temporarily sneak over the line for the Democrats to temporarily do the same.
This analysis of course leaves me sharing your (oops, Tim's) refusal to forgive the American people just because they did the right thing this time.
4 December 2006
I am very impressed that you (our your assistant rather) takes time to respond to your fan mail. Remember that the smallest glimmer of hope is still hope. It maybe foolish but idealism is what separates the happy stupid people from the sarcastic smart people. We hate what we see and are cruel to it but only in the hopes that things will change.
If we don't hold hope, who will do it for us.
Like that Poem about Nazi's ( I know I know, republicans aren't nazi's ... though they are facist)
or something like that... I'm woking from memory here.
take it easy, keep us laughing at the darkness of our situation, and never never never surrender!!!
8 December 2006
Nice statement this week, Tim. I found it quite easy to imagine myself saying those very same words.
Sincere thanks brother, as always.
13 December 2006
Dear Ms. Hautpanz,
I'm writing regarding Mr. Kreider's Cartoon and Artist Statement for his December 13, 2006 cartoon. First, is it just me or does Mr. Tehn bear a striking resemblance to our hero, Mr. Kreider's renderings of himself?
Second, in no way should one handle letters while wearing white gloves. Yes, the oils in our hands are not good for paper, however far worse is attempting to turn pages or handle paper while wearing gloves! Those lovely brittle pages written on by H.P. Lovecraft would crumble and tear if handled with gloves. One hopes they were purchased by a library and will be made available to the public, even better, scanned and presented online.
I do hope Mr. Kreider is treating you well this holiday season Ms. Hautpanz, you certainly deserve a holiday bonus for all your hard work this year. I also apologize for my inability to correctly spell your name, having a lame email program that will not allow me to insert the appropriate umlaut.
Sarah Schmidt Fisher
13 December 2006
Hello, there. I'm a big fan of the pain, and I wanted to know more about a few things I see that didnt have any clues in the artists comments.
who is mr. tehn? where is he from? I think he's a fairly awesome character, and it'd be cool to see more of his non-adventures, if possible.
also... what the hell are waminals? it sounds like an in-joke that has the potential to be hilarious. I am struck by half-formed psuedo laughter when I think of the phrase "man... fuckin' waminals."
19 December 2006
I noticed sometime ago that there is an almost exact similarity between the events depicted in your 2/17/2002 cartoon "After Hours at the Capitol" and the track "Abortion Doctor From Hell!" on David Cross' comedy CD "Shut Up You Fucking Baby!": both discuss, in graphic detail, John Ashcroft sucking upon the bare breast of the Lady Justice statue in the midnight hours. Is somebody stealing from someone else or is it just coincidence that you guys happened upon the same idea?
19 December 2006
Dear Ms. Hautpanz,
I'd like to donate some money to Tim Kreider for Christmas, but don't know how. I live in the U.K, so can't just send a cheque or something. It's not going to be able to be much, though, as I'm a student. Ah, weel.
P.S. Do you actually exist? Because Hot pants is fairly obviously a fake name, but it could be a pseudonym.
20 December 2006
As a graduate student, I can commiserate with you about monetary under-compensation. But rest assured, your cartoons are at least 750% BETTER than any other weekly. As a fellow cynic, I also savour every word of your eloquent Artist's Statements. Do you write anywhere else?
Please don't get down and keep up the great work!!
p.s. If things down there don't improve, you're always welcome in Canada.
21 December 2006
Dear Ms. Hautpþnz,
Please accept my apologies for an email which I unwittingly sent yesterday in a skeletal state of completion... I may have accidentally clicked 'send' in a post-exam alcoholic stupor. The email should have read:
As I was perusing the Washington Post health section online the other day, I happened upon an article that I thought Mr. Kreider might appreciate:
A sad, but hilariously twisted byproduct of the technological sophistication we insist on cramming into every crevice of our lives (and bodies).
As I read the top of the second page, two things came to mind. I imagined with astonishing relish our beloved Mr. Cheney being painfully shocked 30 times in a row as he attempted to die. I was then reminded of Mr. Kreider's comic on the death of Ronald Reagan, and how ironically similar Mr. Cheney's final moments might be. "Put the magnet over the device - it's the only way to make sure!" as a bug-eyed, 113-year-old Cheney lurches violently in his coffin. A vision of the future? One can only hope...
I also have to point out, as a medical student, an understandable flaw in Mr. Kreider's rhetoric: there is no such thing as "clinically insane." While the medical vocabulary contains many terms describing various aspects of mental illness, insanity is not one of them. The word is a lay concept, defined clearly only in the legal realm, where defense lawyers have quite a stake in the robustness of its claim to being a real word. Rant over.
Finally, I hope to escape the convention of prefacing this communication with sycophantic praise; instead, I will conclude with it. To me The Pain is like a hilarious comfort blanket, always accessible, reminding me that despite the frightening insanity of the world, there is something real and good and safe in it, and that I am not alone. The invectives in the artists' statements, saying what I want to scream (but with a twist), have a wonderful cathartic function as well. Please encourage Mr. Kreider to keep doing what he does. The city of Baltimore thanks him.
21 December 2006
I really enjoyed your Dickensian strip this week. Some of the finest pen work yet (and I'll allow the pun)! Looking at the photo you referenced for the Rumsfeld/Ford/Cheney trifecta I couldn't help but notice the rather curious expression on Ford's face. He's looking at Cheney like he just said something very off color. No doubt a real knee slapper. I also liked Nixon/Vietnam as the Future ghost. Also who is that you're referring to as the 1st ghost?
Anyways, I hope you're doing well, and have a Happy Non-Denominational Holiday,
P.S. I think I got you beat on the amount of time a weekly cartoonist bakes his bread. I've been spending the better part of THREE days on these 'Whatever' things. Where's my medal?