January 2008
Dear Mr. Kreider,
Dear Tim,
2 January 2008 Just a funny comment-- Bhutto
actually
wasn't
hot. I
know some
pakistani's
and
they said
she was
known as "hijra" in
Pakistan--
hijra's
are the
caste in
India/Pakistan
that are
men that
dress like
women
(sometimes
per they've
become
eunuchs);
My Indian
friend
said the
same thing--
she looks
like a
man. Now,
I didn't
think she
looked
THAT bad,
I thought
it was
interesting
to watch
from
one photo
to the
next, as
her appearance
would shift--
sometimes
she
had a double-chin
and looked
50 years
old, then
in another
she'd look
35, wearing
the latest
gucci
glasses.
It's image
management
by handlers,
common
to all
high-profile
people,
I think.
4 January 2008 Subject heading: “raccoon coat” Dude, you've gotta get a big floppy felt hat with a plume, and a chain. Then you'd look just like an R Crumb character, which is appropriate since your depictions of yourself remind me of Crumb at his most morbid. Pity you can't snap yourself out of it by the convenient entry of big hipped woman in tight shorts. Still, i'd love to see a picture of you and your buddies trucking.
4 January 2008 http://www.concordmonitor.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080103/NEWS01/801030394/1311/48HOURS Rudy Giuliani seems to be hinting that he'd want Dick Cheney involved in his administration. I'm a Canadian and that gives me fucking nightmares man. I mean can you imagine? These two bald old men, each permanently wearing what Shelly describes as [a] "frown And wrinkled lip and sneer of cold command". Two paranoid violent secretive fascists at the helm of the nation. At least with Bush you kind of get the sense he's not smart enough to realize what he's dooing, being the idiot man child he is. Cheney kills small animals for fun, Rudy's only joy seems to be cheating on his current spouse. On the plus side, if they do get elected, we may see the first gay couple in the White House as these two loathsome souls finally realize that they are the only ones on earth who could ever truly understand each other. Oh, and the biblical apocalypse. Keep up the good work Tim.
6 January 2008 Anyhow I am shocked -- SHOCKED, I say -- that Yulia Tymoshenko, the prime minister of the Ukraine, did not make your They Hate The Hot comic. She's gorgeous. Yore fan, Jesse Irwin
8 January 2008 Dear Sir or Madam, Yesterday I was in my local safeway waiting in the check-out line when I saw the most recent Time magazine which features Vladimir Putin as their pick of person of the year. "That's an odd thing to call him" I thought to myself, and so I picked up the issue interested to read their justification for such a claim. When I got to the interview, there is a large photo of him seated, nigh king-like, looking down at us with his unblinking eyes. And I thought to myself "By thor's hammer, I've seen that pose before!" I could not resist putting paint to page, and before I knew it I had given the emperor new clothes. I sent a picture of it to my brother, and he said "Tim Kreider did this like a million years ago you plagiarizing faggot." And I remembered you had, so I send this to you with apologies for unoriginality, but here's hoping you get a kick out of it anyway. http://s88.photobucket.com/albums/k162/absurdmusician/?action=view¤t=vladvondoom.jpg
9 January 2008 Game Show Host President Tim, Your “Artist’s Statement” is my second-most anticipated Wednesday event, followed only by your cartoon. (Work comes in a distant third, and I like my work!) In your latest, you lamented how the primary winners would be the man closest to a game show host. Just a few nights ago, a woman interviewed by NPR told why she backed Romney: “He looks the most presidential, sounds the most presidential.” Nothing about his stand on any issues, nothing about how he’ll help make the nation the way she wants it. Ugh, the triumph of image over substance continues; but never so blatantly, so succinctly. She even got his first name wrong. On another note, I loved your portrayal of the future representatives of dynasty. Chelsea’s light touch (and her mom’s hair, since hair on a candidate is so important) contrasted with the hard-edged Jenna. You captured the meanness almost necessary in a Republican candidate. Keep up the outstanding work! David Strobel
9 January 2008 Ms.
Phelætia,
9 January 2008 Dear Tim, Thanks for the well-wishes, I hope you have had a chance to bring order out of chaos in your workplace. I am once again heartened, despite your most curmudgeonly efforts, by your charming example of 'maitri' in the form of the first panel of this week's cartoon. Though I'm sure some of your sympathy for Hillary comes from thinking maybe she's a little hot, I also note that part of you wants to give her the Presidency... just because she wants it. What a refreshingly compassionate attitude, unlike some close relatives of mine (for all that I love Austin, I do still live in Texas) who thinks she should NOT have it for that very same reason. It's a wonderful, kind-hearted sentiment. Perhaps she does need to have it, to learn that lesson about how desire is suffering, rather like how when you are a kid you have to try the baker's chocolate, and even though your mom tells you there's *no* sugar in it, you still want to try it- and regret it. Every kid goes through it. And I bet every ex-president views trying to run the country *exactly the same way.* Oh well, enough with the foodie talk. I hope you are well, and enjoying the increasing light of the season. I do look forward to your visit to Austin, and the offer does still stand. Love, Stacy
10 January 2008 In the latest "The Pain" Artist's Statement, there is a sentence which reads: "The last eight years have taken a lot out of on anyone who cares about this country". While I agree that these years have both taken a lot out of and on us, I suspect that you meant to use only one of those prepositions. Hello
from
a
fellow
JHU
alum
('94),
by
the
way.
I forgot to mention it before, but I also ended up taking bites out of a raw onion in the early 90's (at a party in a Chas. Village rowhouse, in my case.) Perhaps that too is a Hopkins thing. Best, Kevin Z.
10 January 2008 Heyo.
First
of
all.
you
are
awesome.
Anyone
affiliated
with
Tim
in
any
way
is
awesome.
22 January 2008 Two questions: 1) What's up with this 'project
disclosure'? I googled it and all I got were
references to
some UFO stuff, which doesn't seem to fit the
context you were using. Still-attempting-to-keep-a-stiff-upper-lip-as-the-nation-goes-down-the- fucking-toilet, T.S. McBride
23 January 2008 To The Estimable Mr. Kreider, Esq., and incidentally The Countess Czochula-Hautpanz, In your latest "Artist's Statement" (which I look forward to reading every week, as they are consistently articulate, cogent, and engrossing), you mentioned that you had refrained from using the premise of "Bullshit Most Important Issue for 2008 Voters", lamenting that The Onion had already used the idea. I am greatly impressed by your artistic integrity under the weight of an inexorably advancing deadline. Therefore I was shocked to find (after following your link to the Onion and poking around a bit) that they had in fact plagarized one of your own works in this graphic: http://www.theonion.com/content/statshot/top_selling_nintendo_wii I of course instantly recognized the titular "Onan The Barbarian" as it is one of my favorites among your drawings. I've often imagined driving along the Los Angeles freeway and seeing it plastered on a roadside billboard 50-foot tall in all its savage majesty. I know of few things which would make me happier. There are also few things I find more sexually confusing. I am shocked that a publication I admire so much as The Onion would wrong you in this way, and can only hope that I am unaware of an agreement or compensation that has occurred between yourself and the Party In Question. Warmest wishes, Petty Officer Third Class Daniel Melia, United
States Navy
The symbols at the bottom of my mailings are my emoticon fish – four swimming along with the current, with one nonconformist minnow struggling against the tide. Thank you for your gracious permission to reproduce your work. Perhaps one day I will amass the cash and political clout to fulfill my dream, and Onan will stand proud and tall in his climactic glory. In the meantime, I am happy to enjoy my weekly dose of Pain. ~Dan
23 January 2008 I am a long-time reader and wanted to thank you for your endorsement of the cloistered dweebs such as myself taking an interest in understanding the universe. I also love space, but actually study how the brain controls behavior. Incidentally, both this recent statement and you "SHERBET SHERBET BURVIL PENNSACOLA" comment from last year have made it into my collection of quotations. cheers
23 January 2008 Jesus fuck that Galactus panel
must have taken forever.
24 January 2008 Mr. Kreider, I was perusing your website and came across one of my favorites. "Remember When...?" (March 12, 2003). I read the following commentary on the panel: " That simpering, sneering, puling, loathesome little monkeyfaced millionaire's son who seems beadily determined to drag the entire country back to the recession and the Gulf War, to say fuck you to the international agreements that have kept the world more or less from collapsing for the last fifty years. " Determined? Looks like he succeeded. Sucks to be right, doesn't it? Yours, Steven F. Scharff
25 January 2008 Tim, I'm just writing to say that this last comic is awesome (as if you didn't know). There's just something about the Dark Matter ominous-being picture. At the risk of sounding artsy and pretentious, it's just a wonderful composition. I've loved quite a number of your other comics (me being an I-can-has-sanity-kthxbye political junkie), so it's kinda weird that this is the one that prompts me to write in, but, well, there you have it. You rock. -Alison
30 January 2008 In re 1/30's comic, or the artist's statement attached thereunto: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SJ_qK4g6ntM Should
make everything that's happening crystalline.
Still not 100% clear on
how a bunch of $600
checks will address the problem, but
hey, at least come
July I'll be able to afford a sack of the *good* drugs.
31 January 2008 Hi there, can you ask Tim if it's possible to get a picture of Mr. Fockerman from yesterday's comic that isn't obscured by the snot guard? It's priceless. Thanks, Scott
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